i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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