i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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