I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
