I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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