What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
