Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink

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(801): View more from Utah

just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

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(503): View more from Oregon

After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.

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(386): View more from Florida

its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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(845): View more from New York

They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

(1-845): View more from New York

howd you meet them?

(845): View more from New York

They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.

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(+61): View more from Australia

THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.

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