Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bet he comes in French.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
