My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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