So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
