Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize