It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
