So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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