they need to just BURY HIM!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
