is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
we're so committed to being not committed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
