She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
