bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
