Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
