I wannas sexs uuuuu
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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