I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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