Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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