He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
