we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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