belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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