It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize