yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
