why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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