why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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