I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Found the puke drawer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
