What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
