i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
