i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
