Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
