His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
