I am puke
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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