Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
