I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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