so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
