ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How external is "for external use only"?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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