Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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