I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
