I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sobbing to NWA
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
