you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I checked into jail on foursquare
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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