Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
