Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
