so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
