Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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