Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
