4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
