In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize