Nicole vs. Life
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
