How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
