I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
