Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
