You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
