I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize