I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
