I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
