The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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