Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
