I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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